What the fucking fuck?

Ok, going on a bit of a personal peeve rant here.
When I search for recipes online, I DO NOT want to find things like this:

CINNAMON STREUSEL MUFFINS

1 (15.2 oz) pkg cinnamon streusel muffin mix
1/2 cup dried apple pieces, roughly chopped

Prepare muffin mix according to pkg directions, stirring dried apple pieces into batter. Place foil baking cups in muffin pans. Spoon batter into cups, filling two-thirds full. Bake and cool muffins according to pkg directions.

That is NOT A RECIPE, you incompetant, lazy, retarded, sibling fucking lice infested virus ridden HOBO.
Sorry, that may have been a little harsh on the homeless population of the world.
But SERIOUSLY, folks.

This one is almost as good.

Vegetable Casserole

2 cans mixed vegetables, drained
3/4 c. mayonnaise
1 can Cheese Whip (Whatever the fuck that is)

Mix ingredients together and pour in casserole dish. Top with 1 1/4 cups crushed Ritz crackers mixed with 1/2 stick of melted butter. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes or until bubbly.

Dear god.
We're talking about COOKING. And BASIC cooking, at that, becasue I'm well aware that some can be pretty hard, but not THESE! Not goddamn rocket science, folks. How can the preparation of food be becoming a lost art?!
Just...just...ARGH. My head is going to explode.

This is driving me utterly insane. 1. Packet mix food is mostly disgusting, why would I want to use it? 2. If I have the instructions ALREADY WRITTEN FOR ME on the side of the BOX, why the hell would I be looking for a recipe ONLINE?!

I want a flamethrower. A big one.
If the people who wrote those 'recipes' read this, hide. I'm coming for you, bitches.