The Garage Wall

It's raining. There's a storm.
I've been out in it,
feeding the horses.

I walk past the garage - under the snow gum tree -
And thunder reverberates through my body,
lightening lights up my world-
that memory.

I lean against the garage wall,
Feet placed awkwardly on broken concrete
At least this time
I don't have to stand on my toes.

I take a deep breath
against the white panel
- a noticable abscence of you -
and let the rain twist it's way through my hair,
and down
over my skin, my eyelashes,
my lips. Down my neck, over my collarbone,
between my breasts.
It's cold, but pure.

I'm sorry I pushed you away
Uknowingly
Unwittingly
I pushed you too much,
I realise that now.

I should have spoken, told you,
let you understand.
Instead of making a big deal
out of something that would have been
rectified, by a simple swallowing
of pride.

I'll always remember that night in the storm,
For me, that was truly the first time,
Regardless of all the other times,
And it was the first time I trusted,
The first time I truly trusted myself to anyone.

That night
window open, curtains back,
Pressed against you in my bed.
The storm raging outside,
I'll never forget.
I would love you for that memory
if nothing else,
but you gave me a thousand more
things to love you for.

and I think you know what I mean when I say
that I'll always be here,
listening for the sound
of your strangely irregular heart.