pythia_dreaming | (no subject)

(no subject)

Maybe it's just me. maybe I'm weird.
But personally, I find it somwheat rude when someone shows up at my house, doesn't say a word to me and has a go at my guests over something that they didn't even do.
Some people really are surprisingly immature.
Also, my lip feels spicy. I ate hot stuff. So. Spicy.
I miss so many people.

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No. You're not weird. I was rude. I thought I was wave-y and hi and stuff, but clearly I wasn't. I'm sorry.

As regards your guest, though...I made an effort to be excruciatingly polite. As I left, I suggested that he might change his mind about committing things to writing, as the talking-in-person thing clearly wasn't happening. I did not mean for it to come across as "having a go" at him. Trust me, if I'd meant to "have a go", I would have hit him. You have no idea how hurt I am by his actions...or lack there of. He has done something he swore he would never do again. But. On that note, what is it that I "had a go" at him over that he *didn't* do? Am curious. What have I accused him of now?

How hurt you are by what actions exactly?

Um. Let's see.

1) Automatically assuming I was angry at him and accusing him of being horrible. When I have made a great deal of effort to make sure I am treating him with respect because every time I say something it winds up offending him. He complains that everything he does is wrong...how the fuck does he think I feel?

2) Ignoring me for nearly two weeks which he swore he would never do again.

3) Saying he would not address the issue after all because he did not like "feeling like the bad guy". So. If I am to be friends with your guest I am not allowed to ever be upset with him because he does not like feeling accused.

Primarily number 2, really. The fact that he didn't even realise he was doing it makes it worse. It takes a minute to send a text message saying "I think we should talk in person". I got nothing. And more nothing. I told him how much being ignored upsets me and he said he would never do it again and still.

Eh. Whatever. It all fits my cynical mood quite nicely. I feel like wandering off and pretending 2005 never happened. I'm not entirely sure how it can still be only January.

Ok.
1. The text you sent him did seem to be confrontational in nature. The fact you automatically assumed that what you'd heard was true. I think he probably hoped that you knew him better than to think he'd do that.

3. I think what he said was that nothing he can say is going to change your mind, and anything he said about it would probably just be turned around and thrown back at him.

2. There's a difference between ignoring someone and simply not making a concerted effort to see them. You don't want to be ignored. Fine. Maybe he doesn't want to talk about. They're both perfectly valid things to want, but they don't go together so well.

Note this is all my opinion.

And sorry about not replying earlier. I wasn't sitting at my computer waiting to reply.

1) Oh, god, the fucking text. I'm sorry if it came across as confrontational, I really am. But this "I should have known him better" business -- it wasn't *important*! I didn't care! Why should I stop to question something if it doesn't fucking matter? Someone tells me Brian ate chicken, I might be surprised because I know he doesn't like chicken, but I don't sit there convinced there must have been a miscommunication because I don't *care* if he eats chicken or not.

2) There's a difference, yes. But if I'm used to getting sitreps every wednes-thurs 'weekend', and those stop coming...in the absence of a text saying "I need space" or "don't wanna talk right now" it feels like ignoring. And he said that he would send a text like that so I knew where I fucking stood. He said he would *never* do this.

Reply anytime is fine; I just happened to be at my computer last night.

Don't know what to say about 3. I really don't. He...I thought he valued the friendship enough to want to sort it out, even if it's just to "we fight too much we can't do this".

I am tired and hurting and...I'm afraid this is coming out all wrong. I don't know. I'm just gonna go finish my post to Will, and maybe get some more sleep.

Oh. And...maybe being told that you're a shitty friend and that you 'raped' someone's trust tends to give you the idea you're not particularly wanted around them?

So. I answered your question. Answer mine? Please, tell me what I had a go at him over that he didn't do.

Sometimes, just sometimes, I like to know what I'm in fucking trouble for. Crazy, huh?

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